|Snoopy - Best-selling author, friend to birds and epic dancer. My hero.|
But it's true.
It WAS a dark and stormy night. I was all cozied up in my apartment ready to settle down for a night of reading and self-reflection, when all of a sudden I was taken over by the need to go grocery shopping. Mother Hubbard's cupboard was bare. I figured if I wanted to eat tomorrow, I best go out and do something about it. I don't know about you, but I don't have grocery fairies at my place, nor do I have a personal chef. Both would be fantastic to have, especially the grocery fairies!! I wonder what they'd look like. They would definitely have their own reusable grocery bags. And bigger wings than your average fairy for hauling heavier things...like jars of mayonnaise!
See folks, this is why I am writing to you. I am in desperate need of your expert sleuthing skills. Get out your Sherlock hat, your Columbo cigar and your Agatha Christie glasses (Agatha Christie teeth optional), we've got a mystery to solve!!
Operation: Saturated Fats
Your Mission: To solve the mystery of the missing mayonnaise
The facts: I left my house at 6:45 pm EST for the grocery store to get, well, groceries. I stopped into the LCBO (liquor store) to pick up the latest issue of Food&Drink magazine. Then I meandered over to the health food store to get some cold remedies. Then I headed over to the grocery store. I picked up the usuals: veggies, mixed nuts, tuna, and went to the check out. As I was standing there I realized...I needed mayonnaise! I left my groceries on the belt and let the guy behind me go ahead. I dashed over to the condiment aisle, chuckling as I dashed over. 'Condiment' - hehehe. Gets me every time. When I got to the mayonnaise shelf I saw that it was on sale! If I bought two, I saved more AND I got extra AirMiles. Naturally, I picked up two jars. Because, who doesn't need two jars of mayo? Apparently Canadians eat a lot of mayonnaise. Then again the people who made that up, probably learned about Canadians from these guys:
Anyway fellow sleuthers, back to the case at hand! I went back to the check out, paid for my groceries, put them in my reusable bag and headed to my car. My drive back from the grocery store was uneventful, but the action started once I got out of the car. I opened the passenger side door and BAM! Half of my groceries tumbled onto the tarmac and rolled under my car. I managed to save the tuna, the nuts, the veggies and one jar of mayonnaise (it was behind the back driver's side tire).
But where did the other jar of mayo go?
It was raining outside in a mist you couldn't escape. People were walking by wondering why there was a woman doing downward facing dog beside her car. I was wondering why I was doing downward facing dog beside my car trying to find the missing mayo.
Here's what I know. It wasn't under the car. It wasn't around the car. It wasn't in the car. It wasn't in my grocery bag. It wasn't anywhere. I gave up. Head hanging and shoulders slouched, I went inside out of the rain, bringing with me a pang of regret that I was leaving something behind in the rain.
If you're still out there mayonnaise, stay strong. I have a team of peeps out to look for you! If anyone approaches you, the code word is: Saturated Fats.
So my mystery mavens, can you solve the mystery of the missing mayonnaise?
Would love to hear your thoughts on 'Whodunnit'!